he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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