Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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