So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
