Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
