I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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