One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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