we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
