lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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