wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
