When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize