oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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