wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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