Can Purell be used as lube?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
