great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
