oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Your topless pictures make me question reality
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you never un-have a 4some
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
