If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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