So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
