dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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