they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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