But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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