I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
