As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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