do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
