we're blogging at a bar
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
FUCK WHALES
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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