After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
How's work?
Spinning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
