the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
