Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
