**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
