I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
