yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize