I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
