Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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