Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
