This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Houston, we have a squirter
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
