you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
