Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize