i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
