No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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