His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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