ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
