Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize