shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
