She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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