bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
