The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize