So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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