This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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