He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
