Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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