That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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