Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Sorry my hands just texted you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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