Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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