I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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