office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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