I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Congratulations! We have a period
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
