so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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