College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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