I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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