PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
