Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's always time for handjobs
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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