Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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