who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
