trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
well you can't waste a boner
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Blood and glitter go together right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
